Ain't Nothing On You So Runaway Baby
by lolatron5000
Summary: What happens when Ruby enlists Gold's help for relationship advice? A song fic! No Yaoi, instead Mangaquestshipping and Franticshipping


"Gold, I hate to admit it but... I need help" Ruby admitted shamefully, as they sipped on their drink in Turtwigs Fastfood Palace.

"Aah, the young junior coming to get help from his senior, 'eh?" Gold asked, with that 'helpful' twinkle in his eye.

"Yeah, I figured out of my boy seniors you're the only one that could actually help" Ruby said, as he thought about asking his other seniors, which would end up in Red asking what was going on, Silver walking off thinking 'What a waste of time' and Green wouldn't even show up.

"And what about your girl seniors?" Gold asked, sipping his coffee thoughtfully.

"They would tell Sapphire that I like her" Ruby stated quickly.

"Touche" Gold replied, setting his coffee down on the table. "Okay then, welcome to Gold's Relationship camp, for hopeless girls that don't know how to get the chicks" Gold declared, making heads turn towards them.

"Senior, everybody's looking at us" Ruby whispered, going red. "Let's get out of here" Ruby said, grabbing hold of Gold's collar and sprinting out of the fastfood joint.

Once far away and outside of the city (Petalburg), Ruby turned to Gold.

"So what are your suggestions Gold?"Ruby asked, still panting.

"Well, maybe give her some flowers and chocolates?" Gold suggested.

"Already tried that, it didn't work out well" Ruby said, remembering the feeling of having flowers and chocolates shoved in him

"Oh, well I'm not sure what will work" Gold stated, walking away.

"No please Gold, I'm willing enough to beg, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!" Ruby cried, grabbing Gold's leg and stopping Gold from going (of course Ruby grabbed Gold's leg without getting his clothes dirty).

"Fine...How about you sing to her?" Gold suggested.

"But I can't sing!" Ruby protested.

"Well, I'll teach you how to, I'll do the music!"

* * *

"Ladies and...well that's all there really is, I present to you, Ruby performing a song for a special lady in the crowd!" Diamond and Pearl announced to a large crowd (Sapphire).

_"Beautiful girls, all over the world_  
_I could be chasing but my time would be wasted_  
_they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby_  
_they might say hi and i might say hey_  
_but you shouldn't worry about what they say_  
_cos they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby"_

_"Not not not nothing on you babe_  
_not not nothing on you_  
_i know you feel where i'm coming from_  
_regardless of the things in my past that i've done_  
_most of really was for the hell of the fun_  
_on the carousel so around i spun (spun)_  
_with no directions just tryna get some (some)_  
_tryna chase skirts, living in the summer sun (sun)_  
_this is how i lost more than i had ever won_  
_and honestly i ended up with none"_

_"There's no much nonsense_  
_it's on my conscience_  
_i'm thinking baby i should get it out_  
_and i don't wanna sound redundant_  
_but i was wondering if there was something that you wanna know_  
_(that you wanna know)_  
_but never mind that we should let it go (we should let it go)_  
_cos we don't wanna be a t.v episode (t.v episode)_  
_and all the bad thoughts just let them go (go, go, go)"_

_"Beautiful girls all over the world_  
_i could be chasing but my time would be wasted_  
_they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby_  
_they might say hi and i might say hey_  
_but you shouldn't worry about what they say_  
_cos they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby"_

_"Not not not nothing on you babe_  
_not not nothing on you_  
_hands down there will never be another one_  
_i been around and i never seen another one_  
_look at your style they ain't really got nothing on_  
_and you out and you ain't got nothing on_  
_baby you the whole package plus you pay your taxes_  
_and you keep it real while them other stay plastic_  
_you're my wonder women call me mr. fantastic_  
_stop.. now think about it"_

_"I've been to Kanto, i've been to Johto_  
_even went out there to Unova_  
_back home down in Littleroot to Petalburg_  
_but you always steal the show (steal the show)_  
_and just like that girl you got me froze (got me froze)_  
_like a nintendo 64 (64)_  
_if you never knew well now you know (know, know, know)"_

_Beautiful girls all over the world_  
_i could be chasing but my time would be wasted_  
_they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby_  
_they might say hi and i might say hey_  
_but you shouldn't worry about what they say_  
_cos they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby"_

_"Not not not nothing on you babe_  
_not not nothing on you_  
_everywhere i go i'm always hearing your name (name, name)_  
_and no matter where i'm at girl you make me wanna sing (sing)_  
_weather a bus or a plane or a car or a train_  
_no other girls in my brain and you the one to blame"_

_"Beautiful girls all over the world_  
_i could be chasing but my time would be wasted_  
_they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby_  
_they might say hi and i might say hey_  
_but you shouldn't worry about what they say_  
_cos they got nothing on you baby_  
_nothing on you baby"_

_Not not not nothing on you babe_  
_not not nothing on you"_

* * *

Sapphire was dumbfounded. She came here expecting a comedy show from Diamond and Pearl. Instead she gets Ruby singing and...rapping. So instead of saying anything, she just runs up to Ruby and starts beating the crap out of him.

* * *

"So, have anymore brilliant plans for me? That hopefully don't involve getting my butt kicked around?" Ruby asked, rubbing the bruises Sapphire gave him.

"Nope, but since I helped you ("HELPED?") you have to help me with a date for Crys" Gold said.

"No way, your help was basically letting Sapph beat me up yet again!" Ruby complained.

"Wait, since you like a girl that beats you up, does that mean you like getting beaten up?" Gold grinned.

"What about you and Crystal?" Ruby asked.

"Touche" Gold replied.

"So what are you gonna do for your date with her?" Ruby asked.

"I'm gonna take her to a fancy restaurant but I need some money" Gold said, making Ruby anime fall.

"But you're the richest of Dex Holders besides Platinum!" Ruby complained.

"Fine" Gold sighed.

"How about you sing a song for her?" Ruby suggested.

"What! And end up like you? No way!" Gold yelled.

"I know a song that you can relate to though" Ruby smirked.

"Fine" Gold gave in.

* * *

"What are we doing tonight Gold?" Crystal asked, as Gold led her into the same hall Ruby used to sing to Sapphire.

"You'll see" he grinned, as they walked into a brightly lit hall with Diamond and Pearl at the mic on the stage. Gold led Crystal to her seat, then fled out the door.

"Gold were-" Crystal started, before she was interrupted by Diamond and Pearl's announcement.

"Ladies and...Ladies, please welcome Gold of New Bark Town and his music assistant Ruby!" they announced, stepping off the stage to welcome a brilliant dressed Gold with a microphone set up and started singing:

_"Ahh yes!"_

_"Well looky here looky here_  
_Ah what do we have?"_  
_"Another pretty thang ready for me to grab"_  
_"But little does she know_  
_That I'm a wolf in sheeps clothing"_  
_"'Cause at the end of the night_  
_It is her I'll be holding"_

_"I love you so"_  
_"That's what you'll say"_  
_"You'll tell me"_  
_"Baby baby please don't go away"_  
_"But when I play, I never stay"_

_"To every girl that I meet here this is what I say:"_  
_"Run run run away, run away baby"_  
_"Before I put my spell on you"_  
_"You better get get get away get away darling"_  
_"'Cause everything you heard is true"_  
_"Your poor little heart will end up alone"_  
_"'Cause lord knows I'm a rolling stone"_  
_"So you better run run run away run away baby"_

_"Well let me think, let me think"_  
_"Ah what should I do?"_  
_"So many eager young bunny's"_  
_"That I'd like to pursue"_  
_"Now even now they eating out the palm of my hand"_  
_"There's only one carrot and they all gotta share it" ("Ew!" Crystal cried, covering her mouth, as she thinks of all the other girls Gold has had in bed.)_

_"I love you so"_  
_"That's what you'll say"_  
_"You'll tell me"_  
_"Baby baby please don't go away"_  
_"But when I play, I never stay"_

_"To every girl that I meet here this is what I say:"_  
_"Run run run away, run away baby"_  
_"Before I put my spell on you"_  
_"You better get get get away get away darling"_  
_"'Cause everything you heard is true"_  
_"Your poor little heart will end up alone"_  
_"'Cause lord knows I'm a rolling stone"_  
_"So you better run run run away run away baby"_

_"See I ain't try to hurt you baby"_  
_"No no, no I just wanna work you baby"_  
_"Yup yup"_  
_"See I ain't try to hurt you baby"_  
_"No no, no I just wanna work you baby"_  
_"If you scared you better run (You better run)"_  
_"You better run (You better run)"_  
_"You better run (You better run)"_  
_"You better you better you better"_  
_  
"Run run run away, run away baby"  
"Before I put my spell on you"  
"You better get get get away get away darling"  
"'Cause everything you heard is true"  
"Your poor little heart will end up alone"  
"'Cause lord knows I'm a rolling stone"  
"So you better run run run away run away baby!"_

* * *

"Ew, you pervert!" Crystal yelled, throwing her handbag at Gold's face when he came down and running away, calling out Xatee and flying away.

"_Shoulda known never to take advice from Senior Gold_"

"_Shoulda known this would happen, since I enlisted Ruby to help_"


End file.
